Jealousy

A Cultural Misconception

More often than not jealousy is considered a very negative emotion. It is often considered a weakness that portrays several other emotions all at once such as fear, anger, betrayal, and abandonment. No one can contest that apprehension, suspicion, protectiveness, and skepticism are all common traits of those who feel jealous. Usually, all of these traits of the jealous are considered negative aswell. But why? Why is it believed to be wrong if someone is suspicious or protective?

A New Perspective

Jealousy is something I have always struggled with. It is fair to say that at some point in everyone's life they have experienced jealousy. I am not alone. But, if everyone experiences this at some point then why is it still considered so wrong? Why hasn't it been realized that this emotion is not only natural but perfectly acceptable? In fact, I claim that this emotion is not only healthy, but virtuous! Looking at it from the right perspective yeilds that if jealousy is addressed it is powerfully life changing.

"You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God," Exodus 20:4-5

As you can see in Scripture, God is a jealous God. This is solely because God is jealous because we are giving to something or someone else that which rightly belongs to Him. We belong to Him and our praise and attention belongs to Him. He is jealous of what is rightly his! Much like God, the new perspective on jealousy is that we are jealous for the same reason as He is.

"14 and if feelings of jealousy come over her husband and he suspects his wife and she is impure—or if he is jealous and suspects her even though she is not impure- 15 then he is to take his wife to the priest." Numbers 5:14-15

In the right context, our feelings of jealousy are godly. Like God, we are jealous for what is ours. We aren't envious; we are jealous for what belongs to us. In regards to relationships, the promise of commitment that is made seals that belonging. Our partner belongs to us and we to them! It could be said that one lacks trust in his partner which is why he is jealous. But, if there is any suspicion at all, it needs to be addressed, for where did this suspicion, this skepticism, this apprehension come from? Something cannot be created from nothing. Jealousy follows that law just like everything else. Jealousy expresses the love and commitment one has to his partner. It expresses the hurt one feels from the actions of his partner.

"34 for jealousy arouses a husband's fury, and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge. 35 He will not accept any compensation; he will refuse the bribe, however great it is." Proverbs 6:34-35

As I stated earlier, looking at jealousy from the right perspective yields that if it is addressed, jealousy is powerfully life changing. How one uses this power, or even using it at all, is up to him. Just know that when you do remember to show no mercy. What has caused your jealousy cannot be undone, but resolving it is possible. If you believe in this perspective of jealousy then share it. Hold true to it and cherish it. Fix the problems that have become clear to you because of your jealousy.